Taking Risks

Taking risks is a personality trait that is seen (or not seen) from a very young age. Children who are risk takers will try new skills over and over until they perfect it. Observers will watch a new skill, internalize it, then attempt it when they can perform it accurately. One isn't better than the other, it's just something to be aware of.

Phoenix is a risk taker. She'll attempt things over and over, even if the attempt isn't perfect. In many ways, this is a great skill to have. It means she'll attempt new words even if she can't say them exactly right. It means she'll try to climb new play structures (sometimes with support).

Lately Phoenix has been becoming interested in walking down the stairs. We took the baby gates off months ago because she was so competent crawling up and down them safely. However, her two friends at her day home walk up and down the stairs independently and Phoenix is trying to model their behaviour. So for the last few weeks we have offered Phoe our hand when she walks down the stairs so she can practise walking down them forward ( rather than crawling down backwards). This morning she took one step down on her own before I caught her and asked her to go back up to the playroom. This afternoon I was making dinner down stairs while Phoe played with her iPad upstairs in the playroom.

She was halfway down the stairs before I realized that she was walking down herself.

It's a good thing I am a behaviour teacher, because I was able to keep my cool and rush over to hold her hand the rest of the way down.

It is wonderful that she is learning a new skill and practising it until she really gets it. But man, is it ever scary to let your child take risks like that. I mean, where's the line between taking risks and breaking your neck?

I want her to take chances in her learning and to not be afraid to fail. I see the most progress in my students who are able to take risks with their learning. It is such a great quality to have in a learner and I am thrilled that Phoenix has naturally cultivated this. But where as a parent do you draw the line? I would never have let her walk down those stairs on her own, but she showed me that, at least tonight, she was able to do it.

I think I might have to give her more opportunities to show me what she can do, but with the safety of mom right in front of her.

My favorite new Phoenixisms

Phoenix is trucking along in her development recently. Our trips to the gymboree play gym have been so successful that she recently learned how to climb out of her crib, necessitating a quick transformation of her crib into a day bed. Luckily, she adjusted to the change quite easily and she remains in her bed all night until I go get her in the morning.

It's so funny when you start to hear your own linguistic idiosyncrasies popping out of your child's mouth. For a long time, Phoenix repeated a single word back to us in response to a question or comment. "Phoenix, do you want to watch Singing Time?" And she would reply "Time." This is a totally normal developmental stage in terms of speech that all kids move through. Then Phoenix started using "OK!" a few months ago in response to questions we pose to her. Her new response is "Sure!" when we make a request now.

"Phoenix, can we put on your shoes?" "Sure!"

"Phoenix it is time to get dressed." "Sure!"

Not surprisingly, "Sure" and "OK" are words I use frequently in my day to day life. Even my students make fun of me for my over use of OK.

The other new Phoenixism that I am loving is her unique attempt at "Thank You". Whenever we say thank you to her, the response we get is "Q!" as in "than - kyou". Tee hee. It's so adorable, I don't even try to correct her. Not ever.

We've also been trying to get her to put two words together more consistently. I do a lot of cuing with her to help with this such as "Bye" pause "Mom". She repeats each word separately, but we are working on getting the pause in between the two words shorter and shorter. It's gotten cold here in the last month, so all on her own she has been putting together "Cold, Brrr" while making the sign for cold. It's very sweet and I can't help but repeat it after her it is so cute.

Here are some new photos from the last week.

 We decorated the tree this week. Phoenix keeps on taking the ornaments on and off so I bought her some soft toy ornaments that she can place on the tree and take them back off as many times as she wants.

Here's Phoenix about 3 minutes before she started to eat the play dough. She'll eat play dough but not vegetables. Sigh.

And here she is enjoying pea butter (like peanut butter but made with peas) with pretzels. Then just eating the pea butter from a spoon. Then off of my fingers. What can I say, I am a sucker for getting her to eat anyway she'll do it.

The Importance of Community

Last night I had the pleasure of meeting up with three other families who have children with DS. We all met when our kids were very young and our kids were all born within 4 months of each other.

As families we represent a wide variety of demographics. We have a stay at home mom, some working moms, a single mom, a common law couple and two married couples. Some of us have only our child with DS and some have other children too. One family uses a nanny, and one goes to day home. Three of the families use developmental aides and one uses an extra day home spot - all covered by the state to help our kids reach their full potential. Three of the families also make use of a DS specific preschool class offered in the city.

We all have such a wide variety of experiences and backgrounds; of philosophies and parenting styles and of feelings about our children and Down syndrome. And we all have this wonderful bond of support and delight for our children's accomplishments.

"Want to see a video of A standing up in the middle of the room over and over?" asked one mom (bursting with pride). And we all watched and celebrated the accomplishment of her daughter, knowing how big these milestones are to parents like us. We admired G's rad new walking skills, and B's take charge attitude with her younger sister. And I showed off Phoe's new verbal skills.

We talked about a lot of different topics. Our lives, our partners, our kids. Views on potty training, on vitamin therapy, on which preschool we are going to send our kids to etc, etc. And the wonderful thing about this group of friends is that we can talk about these things, and our views and ideas, without fear of judgement. Because we all are aware that there is no one right way of doing things.

Although I am now at peace with DS, I am so thankful that I have this posse of families who are moving with me through this experience. Who understand the joy, the frustrations, the celebrations and the different way we experience raising children. Whose lives I would never be linked with but for this tiny extra piece of genetic material.

I hope to always be in touch with this amazing group of families both for me and for Phoenix. Because I want her to grow up with other children who understand what it is to have Down syndrome. Just like I appreciate having this community of families who "get it", I want Phoenix to grow up with other children who have challenges, and differences, and unique genetic makeups who "get" her. Of course I want her to have other friends and families whose lives we share too. But just like ex-pats who link and group together in foreign countries to experience 'home', I want Phoenix to have her group of friends who share this common bond.

And a pic of Phoenix swinging in the snow, because that's what we do in November in the North.