Anyone can become disabled.

I remember when I was in my first year of parenting Phoenix. I was still reeling from the diagnosis and felt angry and judgemental. I was looking through my lense of ableism and judging Phoenix's life and possibilities.

One of the arguments for accepting a prenatal diagnosis that I read was the "Anyone can become disabled at any time. You don't end their life because of it. " argument. 

I hated that argument. I just felt that it was...reaching. That is was somehow not authentic. 

Because really, what are the chances of your child becoming seriously disabled because of an accident or a health crisis? Pretty low I always reckoned.

Knowing a whole slew now of other  parents within my community I finally get it. It really can happen. It happens all the time. There are no guarantees. It's never been more obvious to me as it is now that Mike has had his stoke.

Mike is now a person with a disability because a stroke is a brain injury. His brain has been permanently damaged. There is no question of this. The point of rehab is not to repair the brain. The point of rehab is to rewire the brain to use differently pathways now that the previous pathways no longer work. This is why rehab involves so many repetitive activities. Because when you forge a new path through a field, it takes many trips to carve out the new route.

So while Mike is my husband rather than my child, the lesson is just as valid. Disability happens. Some are born with it. Some develop it. Some through disease, some through environment, some through accident and some through the addition or subtraction of genetic material.

 But the lesson is the same. Disability happens and it is an inevitable part of life.