I've witnessed a number of situations lately where I've listened to people tell hard stories of things which are happening to them. Abuse. Cancer. Poverty. Angst. Depression. Anger. Hard stories. Painful stories. Sad stories. And this is what I hear very well meaning people say:
What's the positive in this?
I die a little inside when I hear platitudes like this.
And when I think back to times where I have been in pain, or going through difficulty or dealing with pretty heavy shit, I feel ANGRY about this sentiment.
Because its OK not to see the positive.
Because its OK to just acknowledge someone's shitty experience.
Because its OK to just empathise.
Because its OK to just listen.
Don't fix. Don't counsel. Don't turn it into something it's not ready to be.
Don't ask: "What's the positive in this?"