But the spark of intelligence in her face and in her eyes has started to push the parameters of what I had thought was possible for her in the future.
I've started to dream again. I've started to allow myself to think about a future where a trade or a career isn't off the table. Where Phoenix will move into an apartment as a young adult and cook her own meals, and clean and decorate her own place and go to school or her job like any other young person.
These are hard words to write because I have been so critical of other parents in the disability community making bold statements like "I expect my child to go to college" or "My child is going to own their own home". I still mostly think they are ridiculous. But I've started to dream anyway. For the record, I don't expect that Phoenix will go to university; I don't expect her to own her own home. But I am daring to dream that Phoenix will be able to have an average ability to learn, grow and develop. And that her inborn talents will allow her to achieve the independence that most young people attain. That her future will have options, and possibilities and that she, and I, can dream.
Now, I normally hate pictures where Phoenix has her tongue hanging out. It just screams "Down syndrome" to me. Yes, I appreciate the irony of what I've just written. However, in this pic Phoenix is purposely sticky out her tongue to be a cheeky little monkey. So I am posting it to show the world how cute my daughter with DS is. Even with her tongue stuck out.
Aw, babe, DREAM. BIG!!
ReplyDeleteI have the same expectations of Kelly that I do of all my children. Whether he, or any of them, meet those expectations remains to be seen. I know I haven't met my parents expectations of me. Maybe I never will. There are no guarantees in life. Not for any of us.
I personally do not want Kelly to go to college. I think it would be a waste of his time, money, and the resources of his intellect. He does not need to study Socrates or physics or plow through Shakespeare... unless he WANTS to and then, he can study those things at a community college. I'd rather he find a means to fulfillment and I hope that that leads to independence.
I've thought a lot about how our children will attain that independence and if we as parents will even allow it. I fear that our children's biggest disability is the clipped wings their parents have given them.
I think most people should not go to university unless they will come out with a tangible work skill like teaching or law or engineering. College in Canada tends to be more technical\job focused. I am hoping that Phoenix has the ability to do some type of college or training program that will allow her to support herself in the future and not have to rely on disability payments.
DeleteYour sweet Phoenix has the most contageous smile ever. Her eyes are so welcoming and I absolutely adore her rosey little cheeks. What a beautuful little lady! You must be so proud!
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