Wednesday 14 October 2015

DS and abortion

I don't often write about the contentious issue of the selective termination of babies prenatally diagnosed for Down syndrome.

One of the reasons that I don't write about it is because I strongly support a woman's right to determine her own health care values and choices.

I also feel that governments need to stay out of bedrooms, relationships, and out of the business of family planning - except to support peoples autonomous right to direct their own wishes, values and actions.

Yet.

The issue of families purposely terminating wanted pregnancies for Down syndrome is a very divisive one in the community.

Yes, abortion for DS makes a value judgement about the life of a person with DS. The value judgement is that it is better to be dead than to live a life with DS.

This is sad for me, because I think my daughter's life does have value and that she does and will continue to make a difference in the world.

However, if we as a society have acknowledged that women have the right to autonomy over their own bodies in terms of abortion, then we have to accept that just as some women terminate for financial reasons, or emotional reasons or for family planning reasons, that the presence of a major chromosomal difference which can come with a host of complications is a valid reason to terminate a pregnancy.

Yet.

These are wanted babies. These are loved babies. These are babies which women and families think are better off dead than to live a life with a disability like DS.

I always thought I would terminate a pregnancy with DS, but when it came down to it, this is the baby I wanted: with or without DS. And everything I know now about our lives and about Phoenix convinces me that we made the right decision. There is nothing about her having DS that is insurmountable.

7 comments:

  1. I appreciate your view. No one- except maybe addicts- terminates a pregnancy lightly.

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    1. One would think that maybe only addicts terminate pregnancy lightly, however I'm pregnant with a child that has DS and I have been asked more than once from my doctor if I'm sure I don't want to "just terminate", I'm currently looking for another doctor!

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  2. Appreciate your view. With two premises,
    - Phoenix is sweet graceful child
    - I will not terminate a grey diagnosis pregnancy (DS included) I hv done that and lost my daughter. I would still like to add few comments.

    - sometimes mothers make a decision out of fierce protecting love to let go their child after doing all their research. The same fierce love that made you take brave decision to bring Phoenix in this world. It is not a value judgement on children with DS, it is protecting their own wanted loved child. I can say as I know some tfmr mothers personally. Your choice is brave but the other choice is difficult and lonely.

    In some cases, like countries of South Asia, Govt funding is more toward general aspects like vaccines, schooling. Some parents may have willingness but not ability to cope up with financial aspects of surgeries and therapies.

    I m sorry if my comments were hurtful in anyway, I wish you all the best and may Phoenix reach up to her personal best and have a fulfilling life.

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    1. I absolutely agree with you, that sometimes it IS better to let children go. I keep my focus very narrow on this discussion because there are definitely conditions which ARE incompatible with life and that if the ONLY life possible for a child is to be hooked up to breathing machines for their entire lives, then perhaps a different route should be chosen. Quality of life is a subjective issue which most people view under the lense of their own lives.

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  3. Very well written

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  4. It is great that you made a brave and compassionate decision that is certainly right for your family. Also appreciate the angle that how Govt. Should stay out of this very personal decisions. Very few ppl in this world hv the compassion to think for the ppl making a decision otherwise, and validate them. Hats off Phoenix's mom.

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    1. My decision wasn't brave and compassionate, although it is lovely that you think so. It was just a decision to take Phoenix the way she came: with her extra chromosome.

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